<![CDATA[Arlington Counseling Services - Blog]]>Tue, 15 Mar 2016 05:35:26 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[The Dress, the Color, and Your Relationship]]>Thu, 05 Mar 2015 20:40:31 GMThttp://www.arlingtoncounseling.org/blog/the-dress-the-color-and-your-relationshipPicture
Brian Garibaldi is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Director of Arlington Counseling Services. Brian can be contacted at Brian@ArlingtonCounseling.org. 

When it comes to viral internet sensations, “the dress” is unlike other online distractions that capture our attention. Most viral videos and images generally have more flippant entertainment value whether it is a cat video, flash mob, or whatever came out that week. This was a different kind of viral image based upon its ability to stir discussion, especially in the fact that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something completely different.

A lot of us would like to think that when we observe something that what we experience has some absolute “truth” to it (whatever that means). The way we see things is so important to us and if someone sees things in a completely different light we often struggle with that. There is nowhere where this is more obvious than in online comments and forums especially on topics such as politics and religion for example. Getting into an argument with some online stranger is one thing, but did you know that this perspective could also be harming your relationship?

People in relationships (romantic, family, etc) often get into arguments and disagreements about how they perceive evens that happened. The details of every interaction including what was said, how it was said, and what actually took place are often broken down, challenged, then re-challenged to an exhausting extent. As a therapist I have a high tolerance for this sort of thing, and it even exhausts me!

There are times where it is extremely important to go into the details of events, especially when someone is hurt by someone else’s words or actions. There are many times however, that the accuracy of what happened is not as important as we think. The ability to accept that someone else perceives things totally differently than you is critical. I’m not talking about going along with them just to appease them. I’m talking about the true understanding that at a core and basic level, they really didn’t see an event like you did. Just like the dress.

There are interesting studies and research that point to the fact that the way we store memories does not lead us to the factual accuracy we would like to think we have. Check out this NPR article http://n.pr/Wnl5DF on how we remember past memories. We like to think that they way we remembered something is the truth, but it is not always the case. Always being “accurate” about a memory or being “right” about something that happened is often the last thing that will make a conflict in a relationship better. People might get some satisfaction in being “right”, but at what cost? At the cost of the relationship?

I often like to say, “Being ‘right’ is totally overrated”. Couples come into my office because they want their relationship to be better. The problem is that people’s resentments often get in the way of is really important, and why they came to counseling in the first place. Point to all the scientific articles you want on how it proves your point, is your relationship better now? As soon as we can embrace the fact that others may perceive the exact same thing differently than us, we can really focus on moving forward and making things better in our relationships. 

<![CDATA[First Arlington Counseling Services Blog Post!]]>Tue, 30 Sep 2014 18:51:15 GMThttp://www.arlingtoncounseling.org/blog/first-arlington-counseling-services-blog-postPicture
Brian Garibaldi is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Co-Director of Arlington Counseling Services. Brian can be contacted at Brian@ArlingtonCounseling.org. 

I am excited to announce the launch of the Arlington Counseling Blog as part of the newest addition to the website. We are constantly looking to expand the information we provide on our site whether it is more about us, our services, or even educational material that might help anyone.

The intent of our blog is to give more perspective on mental health and well being. This could vary greatly among our different staff that will be posting which is always a great thing. Our counselors come from a variety of backgrounds, each with their own style and approach. Whether they initially worked and came from different industries (like myself!) or jump right into counseling, we appreciate the perspective they bring. 

Please read up on our counselors by clicking the "Our Staff" menu. I am very proud of the level of service we provide and often challenge us to really look at what we do in counseling sessions, and how we can best help our clients.

Please stay tuned for upcoming blog entries as their are no shortage of information and thoughts regarding how we live and how to stay well. Contact us at any time for information.